Posted by: sarahswati | November 30, 2010

Surviving and A Poem A Day

Hello again. It’s been so long since my last blog post I almost feel the need to reintroduce myself.

Ha.

So anyway…

I’ve been in quite a rut recently, both with writing and in my life in general.

I participated, or started out participating in, NaNoWriMo this month. NaNoWriMo is the annual challenge to write the first draft of a 50,000-word-or-longer novel in November. (http://www.nanowrimo.org) It was my second year participating, and while I “won” (met the aforementioned goal) just barely last year, I found myself flailing about this year with a novel that was going nowhere and no real interest in completing one, outside of a feeling that “I needed to” simply because I started it. Halfway through the month, I decided that writing a novel just isn’t really my cup of tea. I had a lot of trouble trying to force myself to complete the novel because my heart wasn’t really in it. So, while I “failed” at this novel writing challenge, I succeeded in realizing that writing poetry is much more what I’m all about.

I have a weird relationship with writing poetry. I LOVE doing it. I get so much enjoyment from the process as well as the final product. Yet, I have such a hard time motivating myself to get started on it.

So, inspired by the NaNoWriMo concept, I’ve decided to write a poem every day in December, both to get me back into writing poetry and get my sense of self-discipline back on track in general. Writing a poem each day in December, starting and finishing a poem on the same day, will also (hopefully) lead me to realize that I don’t have to obsess over every detail of every poem in order to end up writing a good one. I know they won’t all be good, but that’s not the point. In addition to this endeavor being good for my writing, I’m hoping the realization… well, not “realization”, because I already realize it, but the internalization of it will spill over into the rest of my life. I think I obsess too much over whether or not I am (or am thinking about) doing the right thing, and so, in a fit of paralysis, often end up doing nothing at all.

I’m hoping I will find it’s ok to do something and have it end up being the wrong thing.

I guess I feel like I haven’t really, when it comes down to it, survived some of the decisions I have made…

When in reality, here I am… surviving.

Anyway, in preparation for the Poem-A-Day December Extravaganza I have planned, I thought I would warm myself up by writing a poem today (November 30, 2010) as practice, so to speak, since I haven’t really written a poem in *cough* almost a year *cough*.

:)

This is what I came up with… (slightly tongue-in-cheek, of course):

 

Getting Ready for December

Getting ready for December,
Checking the poetry systems.

Minding the memos and memes.
Flushing all the sludge,
Oiling the wheels,
Checking the seals,
In varied, prevaricated verification.

Stoking the boilers with
Musty, sodden fuel
In leaden preparation,

Anxious to see what comes out.

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