Well, Day 2 of my write-a-poem-every-day challenge has come and technically gone (it’s 1 AM on day 3 here) and I haven’t written another poem. The day got away from me and I’ve been trying off and on all evening to write another, and I haven’t even come up with anything as “brilliant” as Day 1’s poem. Hmm.

I know the idea (or part of it) is to just write something, to tell myself that even if I write drivel, it (the experience of writing it) isn’t all that bad. I know this, and yet, here I am again. I keep going around in these circles, bumping into things.

Alright, I’ll write a haiku. I love writing haikus (well, I love writing poetry, period… and yet here I am, in this place of “no poem” (again)). Haikus are short and sweet. And while difficult to write well, writing a passable haiku isn’t that hard. Let’s see…

 

Graceful hummingbird
Sucks a patient fuschia dry
Tittering sharp glee

 

Hmm, that turned out better than I expected. Says something about my mood, I guess… in more ways than one.

Well, day one of my endeavor to write a poem every day in December has come and gone and… I guess it will take some time to get warmed up? I hope that’s all it is. I mean I know I’m capable of writing good poems, but… *sigh*.

I can’t believe I’m posting this one. This is going to be one of those warts-and-all months for my blog. :)

 

They Can’t All Be Winners

The first day of a new project begins…
And I don’t.

Twelve hours later,
And I’m sitting on the couch,
Macbook on my lap.
I can’t help but think of how cold I feel.
My mind snags
On every little sound around me.

My calves are freezing tonight.
Winter’s set in and I’m feeling old,
So old,
So cold.

That, and this poem sucks.

I guess they can’t all be winners…

(Got that out of the way early?)

Hello again. It’s been so long since my last blog post I almost feel the need to reintroduce myself.

Ha.

So anyway…

I’ve been in quite a rut recently, both with writing and in my life in general.

I participated, or started out participating in, NaNoWriMo this month. NaNoWriMo is the annual challenge to write the first draft of a 50,000-word-or-longer novel in November. (http://www.nanowrimo.org) It was my second year participating, and while I “won” (met the aforementioned goal) just barely last year, I found myself flailing about this year with a novel that was going nowhere and no real interest in completing one, outside of a feeling that “I needed to” simply because I started it. Halfway through the month, I decided that writing a novel just isn’t really my cup of tea. I had a lot of trouble trying to force myself to complete the novel because my heart wasn’t really in it. So, while I “failed” at this novel writing challenge, I succeeded in realizing that writing poetry is much more what I’m all about.

I have a weird relationship with writing poetry. I LOVE doing it. I get so much enjoyment from the process as well as the final product. Yet, I have such a hard time motivating myself to get started on it.

So, inspired by the NaNoWriMo concept, I’ve decided to write a poem every day in December, both to get me back into writing poetry and get my sense of self-discipline back on track in general. Writing a poem each day in December, starting and finishing a poem on the same day, will also (hopefully) lead me to realize that I don’t have to obsess over every detail of every poem in order to end up writing a good one. I know they won’t all be good, but that’s not the point. In addition to this endeavor being good for my writing, I’m hoping the realization… well, not “realization”, because I already realize it, but the internalization of it will spill over into the rest of my life. I think I obsess too much over whether or not I am (or am thinking about) doing the right thing, and so, in a fit of paralysis, often end up doing nothing at all.

I’m hoping I will find it’s ok to do something and have it end up being the wrong thing.

I guess I feel like I haven’t really, when it comes down to it, survived some of the decisions I have made…

When in reality, here I am… surviving.

Anyway, in preparation for the Poem-A-Day December Extravaganza I have planned, I thought I would warm myself up by writing a poem today (November 30, 2010) as practice, so to speak, since I haven’t really written a poem in *cough* almost a year *cough*.

:)

This is what I came up with… (slightly tongue-in-cheek, of course):

 

Getting Ready for December

Getting ready for December,
Checking the poetry systems.

Minding the memos and memes.
Flushing all the sludge,
Oiling the wheels,
Checking the seals,
In varied, prevaricated verification.

Stoking the boilers with
Musty, sodden fuel
In leaden preparation,

Anxious to see what comes out.